All the Way to Heaven Page 15

  He smiled. Slowly.

  “Oh,” I commented under my breath to myself. “That’s just… wow.”

  “Ani?” Cosimo said my name close to my ear. I turned to find his eyes less than a foot from mine. His mouth, too.

  “And that’s wow, too.”

  I blinked again, but when I closed my eyes, the earth tipped slowly on its axis, and I had to open them quickly to keep from sliding out of my chair. My cheeks ached from smiling but the expression wouldn’t stay off my face. All around the table, people waved their hands hypnotically in conversation, the candlelight making shadows dance across animated faces. The music of the Tuscan night filled my heart with joy and I did not want the song to end.

  “I think perhaps it is time to take another walk.” Cosimo bent toward me, our foreheads nearly touching. “Mia bella passerotta, sei ubriaco. You have had too much wine. Come.” He stood and retrieved my wheelchair parked nearby, bringing it close.

  On the other side of the table, Madalina stopped talking and looked from him to me, her eyes widening in understanding. She leaned over and murmured something to Paulo, who nodded, taking the napkin from his lap and tucking it under the edge of the saucer that held his empty espresso cup. Madalina leaned forward to say something to Isa across from her as Paulo rose and moved to help her up.

  It was like watching a choreographed scene in a play. By the time I had made the somewhat clumsier than usual transfer into my wheelchair, Isa and Gerardo had excused the six of us from the table, setting in motion the culmination of the meal. Guests stood, scooped up sleeping children, exchanged goodbyes and many words of appreciation with Claudia and Franco, with Margarite and even Nilda.

  Cosimo turned my wheelchair a little too quickly and I grabbed on to the armrests, letting out a high-pitched whoop. I giggled helplessly at the noise I’d emitted. Madalina stepped up close and made a shooing gesture with her hands, hurrying us off the terrace and down the cobbled path lit by old-fashioned lampposts toward the pool. It occurred to me that something about the behavior of my friends was protective, but I couldn’t recall what or who I needed protecting from.

  I could hear Isa and Madalina chattering to each other behind me as we bobbled along the path, and I marveled at the absence of pain in my broken ankle. “I think I should try walking tonight, Cosimo,” I said to him over my shoulder. “My foot feels great.” He didn’t answer. Maybe I hadn’t said it loudly enough.

  “Cosimo!” I tried to raise my voice just a little, but I overshot my mark, bringing our little party to an abrupt and silent halt. Then, like a swarm, they rushed to my side, asking if I was hurt, if I was feeling sick, if I needed help in any way.

  I waved both hands to stop them, the movement of my fingers against the starry sky distracting me for a moment.

  “Ani?” Madalina straightened and brought both hands up to her cheeks, then began to laugh. “Oh, Mama mia! You are drunk, Princess Grace!”

  “Cosi, you did not watch her!” Isa smacked her uncle on the arm and crouched down in front of me. “Ani, forgive me. I should pay more attention to you because you are my guest.”

  I shook my head, then stilled, and the lights along the path stopped looking like shooting stars. “I was just trying to tell Cosimo something. Um….” But I couldn’t remember now what had been so important.

  I could hear Cosimo chuckling behind me. “She will be fine. I saw how much she had to drink and how much she had to eat, and I made certain she drank her water. We will go to the pool and if we must, we will put her feet in the cold water.”

  Madalina smacked his other arm. “Wheest! And if that does not work, will you put her head in the cold water, too?” Friendly laughter broke out and I joined in, even though I was pretty sure the joke was on me.

  “Sit back and relax, Princess Grace. We will take care of you.” Madalina disappeared behind me, but I could hear her say, “Paulo, if you do not change the look on your face, we will put your head in the cold water, too. Come.” The two of them ambled past, Paulo’s hands thrust into his pockets, Madalina’s arm linked through one of his, dragging him along ahead of us. He didn’t look at me.

  So I didn’t look at him.

  We reached the pool and I rubbed my hands up and down my arms. Past the windbreak of the house, the night breeze swept across the water to us, unhindered, leaving patterns rippling over the blue-black surface. Cosimo parked my chair beside a large, stone and iron encased fire pit, leaned down and murmured, “Stay right here. I will bring you a sweater.” Then he headed around the end of the pool toward the pool house opposite us, disappearing inside. A moment later, a few more lampposts around the pool blinked to light, the modern fixtures giving the appearance of antiques with old farm-style lantern housing, the glow of the bulbs inside mellowed by amber glass panels.

  “Oh, it’s beautiful,” I sighed, pleased by the effect.

  Before long, Gerardo and Paulo had a blazing fire going and we girls gathered close. The flames were mesmerizing and I stared, unmoving, into them. My head felt so heavy.

  “Ani.” It was Paulo. I turned to find him down on a knee beside me, one hand resting on the arm of my chair. I reached out and touched the dip of his upper lip with my forefinger.

  “You have the best smile, Paulo. You should smile more. I really like it.”

  He didn’t pull away, but reached up and took my cold fingers between his warm hands. “Thank you. I will try to smile more. For you.” And he did.

  Madalina came over to stand beside us. I looked up at her, the stars wavering behind her silhouette. My head just wanted to fall back, but I knew that would make them think I was totally wasted. I kept it perfectly steady as I said, “I think I need to go to bed.”

  Madalina smiled and patted my cheek. “You drink too much, Princess Grace.”

  “I’m fine, you guys. I just need to sleep.”

  “Stay with us for now, okay?” Paulo said, releasing my hand to stand. “You need to stay awake for a while to make sure you are okay.” He rolled me a little closer to the fire, then pulled up a chair from beside the pool and sat down close to me. “Do you want to talk? Will that help?”

  I glanced past him to Isa and Gerardo standing a little distance away, their heads together in animated conversation. It seemed like Isa was upset about something, the way she was gesturing wildly and pointing at me. I leaned over toward Paulo and put my hand on his arm to get his attention. He covered my hand with his again.

  “Is Isa mad at me?” I thought I said it quietly, but Paulo laughed when Isa turned to look at us. He shook his head at her and she went back to what she’d been saying to her husband.

  “She is not angry at you. No one is angry at you.” I sighed with relief. I left my hand on his arm—it was so warm.

  Just then, the door of the pool house opened, and Cosimo stepped out, arms piled high with what looked like blankets. He made his rounds, giving each of us a blanket or a sweater, or in my case, both. He held one for me to slip my arms into, and then buttoned the top two buttons.

  I lowered my chin and sniffed at the loose neckline. “It smells like you, Cosi. It smells cozy.” That was the funniest thing I’d heard all night and when I started laughing, Paulo rose from his seat and strode around to where Isa and Gerardo still spoke but in quieter tones, both now wrapped in blankets. He said something to them, and Isa put a hand on his arm as if to waylay him.

  Cosimo dropped into the chair vacated by Paulo and angled it so he was facing me. “Tell us about yourself, Ani. Do you live close to Hollywood?”

  I snorted rudely, but the question often seemed to be one of the first people asked, no matter where they were from, when they found out I was from California. “Nope.” Now that was a funny word. “Nope. Nope. No-puh.” I chortled gleefully over the sound of it.

  Madalina smoothed the hair back from my brow and said, “Shhh, Ani.” Turning to the trio making their way back toward us, she called out, “Paulo, come. Tell Ani about the children you work with.”<
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  “Yes,” I exclaimed. “I know what everyone here does except you, Paulo. Are you a teacher? Or just a rescuer of damsels in distress like Dr. Lazzaro, here?” I reached over and poked Cosimo in the knee.

  Paulo didn’t look happy about sharing, but I pointed encouragingly at my Cheshire Cat expression, reminding him of his promise to me, and he made a halfhearted attempt to smile back.

  “I help to operate an after school program for secondary students.” With a nod in my direction, he said, “That is almost the same as middle school and high school in the United States.”

  “Oh.” I think I knew that, but I appreciated him explaining anyway. “What kind of program is it?”

  He leaned forward in his chair, resting his elbows on his knees. For some reason, Cosimo had not offered Paulo a blanket. Or maybe Paulo had refused one. There were two sitting unused on the ground near my chair. I didn’t know how he wasn’t freezing. He ran a hand down the length of his jaw on one side, and I thought I could hear the rasp of his day-old growth.

  I wondered what it would feel like under my own fingers. I opened my mouth to ask him if I could touch his chin, but he started talking first. I closed my mouth with a funny clopping sound that made me giggle.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  “You may not know this, Ani, but it is common knowledge that there has been an increase in crimes committed in Lucca by the youth in the last several years.” He still spoke reluctantly, but with an intensity that made me want to pay attention. “Especially the older secondary students. They spend time in groups in the piazzas or even in the train station. They get on the trains and go to Florence or Sienna with no one ever knowing where they are, and find even more trouble in those bigger cities, especially with drugs. Then they bring that trouble back to Lucca.” He straightened and crossed his arms. He looked cold. The fire was definitely heating things up, but not enough to ward off the nip of the breeze around us. I hunkered down a little more in the sweater I wore.

  “I have much compassion for these young people who are making decisions now that will affect their lives forever. But I do not see how things will change for the better for them if we only punish trouble. Instead, we must look for ways to prevent it before it happens.” He stared into the fire, the light making his features shift and bend. I couldn’t look away.

  “I came to Lucca on a study abroad program, and one of the requirements was to participate in a social integration program or activity. I tried my hand at many things when I first arrived, but finally chose this after-school program. We work with students to teach them skills like cooking, child care, bee-keeping, construction, and farming, and we help them to find part time jobs. They make a little money without buying and selling drugs or pickpocketing.”

  “He did not choose the program,” Madalina scoffed gently. “It is his own.”

  “Psht. It is not my program. It is a city program. I only helped to start it because I felt in my heart it was what I needed to do.” He looked around the small group, his eyes holding mine for only a few moments, but I felt the change in his demeanor. The conversation had awakened his passion, and I was rather transfixed.

  “In every person there is a desire that is unique to each of us.” He raised both hands and cupped them together like he was holding something precious. “Our passion in this life. There is a voice inside us that calls to us to act.” He tapped his chest, and then pointed toward the sky. “I believe each one of us is born with it, a little piece of heaven inside our hearts, and we have been given a whole lifetime to act, to share our piece of heaven with those around us.”

  He was silent for a moment, then said thoughtfully, “I do not think it is the job we do, or the activities we participate in, but the way we do those things. How we see other people, not just with our eyes, but with our hearts. Like you, Isa, the way you see Madalina every day, and you always greet her and praise her and tell her she is a good person, not just a good pastry chef. It is how you saw our Ani last week, and you did not walk by, because you saw her with your heart.” I didn’t miss the collective “our” he’d used when talking about me. I kind of liked belonging to these people.

  “And you, Cosimo.” He turned and looked directly at the man beside me. “To open your clinic to Ani. I am certain you already had many patients who needed you. Yet you saw Ani’s need and you did not turn her away.” It was a little weird being talked about like I wasn’t there, but everything Paulo was saying was spot on. “Saint Catherine of Siena once said, ‘All the way to heaven is heaven.’ It is not just about the happy ending, but making every step along the way matter. It is a good way to live a life, do you think?”

  The silence that followed was palpable. I didn’t know Paulo had so many words in him, and I certainly hadn’t expected that kind of expostulation. It was as though the spigot had been cranked open and what came out of him was refreshing and pure and unabashed.

  “Cin cin.” Isa stood up and draped her blanket around Paulo’s shoulders. He nodded his appreciation and drew the ends together in front of his chest. Then she kissed his cheek, a solemn blessing, returned to her husband, and curled her petite frame into his lap. Gerardo enfolded her in the warmth of his arms inside his blanket.

  “Lucca is not your home, Paulo?” Cosimo asked. I frowned, wondering where that came from, then remembered his mention of a study abroad program. Was he Romanian? Maybe that was the connection between him and Madalina.

  Paulo straightened and pulled the blanket up higher around his shoulders. “I came to Italy last year to learn Italian as a second language at the Italian Language School in Lucca.” Wow. He sure learned it well. He sounded like a native.

  He turned narrowed eyes toward the flames, his brow furrowed as he continued. “My language program, however, ended over a month ago, and I must go home soon because my student visa expires shortly.”

  “So what is keeping you here?” Cosimo’s question seemed to hold no malice, and I turned my head slowly to look at Madalina. She sat in her chair, legs tucked up under her, one of Cosimo’s sweaters around her shoulders and a blanket over her lap. She watched Paulo with a look of tenderness, but oddly enough, not much else. I thought again about what she’d said in my room earlier today, about waiting for a man who would love everything about her. For whatever reason, Paulo didn’t seem to be that man.

  I realized my head was starting to clear a little and turned back to Paulo to hear his response.

  “To be honest, it is only because I worry that others will not continue the program after I leave. My weakness is believing that people will do as they say, that they will follow through on their commitments.” He shot me an odd look. “I tell people to trust me, but I often do not trust others.” He leaned forward again, elbows on his knees, fingers toying with the corner of the blanket. “That said, I must return to the United States soon. I still need a few courses to complete my degree. If I do not return, they will remove me from the program, and I will have to pay back my scholarship money. And of course, there is also my family to consider.” He shrugged, his face in shadows again. “After I finish school, then maybe I will return. Time will tell.”

  I sat forward, shaking my head to clear the fuzzy pressure lingering behind my eyes. “Wait. What?”

  Everyone stared at me, waiting for me to expound. Paulo looked as though he was worried I meant for him to repeat his whole recourse.

  I waved my hand, appreciating the fact that the stars stayed put this time. “Did you say the United States?” I cut him off when he started to answer. “As in the United States of America? You’re an American?” My mind was reeling, unable to settle on the right words to express the way this bit of information made me feel.

  “You did not tell Ani, Paulo?” Madalina shifted in her seat, tucking the blanket more securely around her legs.

  “No, he did not tell me he was American. I think I would have remembered a detail like that.” I turned back to him. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

 
He glanced at me briefly, and then went back to staring at his hands. “When would I have told you?”

  “Um, like, ‘Hi. My name is Paulo Durante. I see you are an ignorant American tourist who doesn’t know she shouldn’t sit in an empty train station and wait for a complete stranger to pick her up after dark. I’m from America, too. Do you need help?’ Or when I fell, you could have said, ‘Hi. I see you are a clumsy ignorant American tourist who doesn’t know how to keep hold of her important documents. I’m American, too, and I can see that you need help from someone who speaks the same language you do.’“ My consternation was coming out as angry sarcasm and I raised both hands in disbelief. “You had plenty of chances to tell me, Paulo. Plenty of opportunities to give me that one little piece of information that would have made me feel a tiny bit less of a complete stranger in a strange land.”

  My head was getting clearer by the second as blood rushed through my veins. I heard Cosimo chuckle beside me and I turned to glare at him. “What are you laughing at?”

  “I am not laughing. I am simply appreciating how beautiful you are when you are angry.” He leaned close and cupped my chin in his hand. I jerked out of his grasp, not wanting him to touch me right now.

  “I’m not angry,” I declared. And then I said it again, this time with a little less vehemence. “I’m not angry. Not really.” I fixed my gaze on Paulo and waited for his eyes to lock with mine. “It’s just that I was really scared that day I fell, and I felt completely alone and helpless. You showing up was weird after that encounter at the train station, but when you started helping me, I can’t tell you how relieved I was. I just don’t understand why you wouldn’t say anything, that’s all.”

  “I am sorry, Ani.” He shook his head. “I did not think it would make any difference.” He looked around the circle. “And I still do not see how it changes anything. We are all your friends here, and each one of us would do all we can to help you. It does not matter where we are from.”